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Monday, February 5, 2007
Ashley was experiencing precocious puberty at the age of 5. One of the things that happens when you enter puberty is your bones stop growing. So Ashley was starting to stop growing beginning at the age of 5. Why is there the need to give her massive quantitites of hormones if she is already stopping growing?
Hormones given in this manner also age the rest of Ashley's body prematurely. A doctor wrote on CareCure that it make it so the likelihod that her brain would ever develop stop.
How could an ethics committee ever agree to this treatment?
Saturday, February 3, 2007
I wants to vent about different bits of Ashley's treatment. Let's start with I have big breasts so I know of where I speak. The reasons given for removing Ashley's breast buds so that they will not grow is over reaching.
People do not sexually abuse other people because they have big breasts. They abuse people because they are bullies and they feel powerful when they abuse others. A person who wants to abuse little girls will think of Ashley as a little girl no matter how old she is.
Restraints to keep Ashley in her chair do not have to be painful to her. There are specially designed restraints for women to deal with this very issue if it is indeed a problem for Ashley. As breasts get larger and older they flatten anyway (oh do I ever know this!) so this would be a short term problem anyway. Ashley won't care about having perky breasts - so she can avoid the cages we women insert our breasts in/ bras and it might happen even a little quicker. ( I know about this too - having given up wearing a bra about 30 years ago.)
Breast cancer may run in Ashley's family, but that doesn't mean Ashley will have breast cancer. Ashley can have breast exams to catch any cancer early. Breast cancer research may eliminate breast cancer by the time it is of real concern. (And I say this as the daughter of a breast cancer survivor.)
Skin rashes under big breasts. Yea, I have this too. Big pain, that would be eliminated with a bit more careful care by me. On those rare occasions I wear a bra I get this, in the summer when it is really hot and I don't keep the area under my breasts dry I get it - but it also goes away with a smear of Melaleuca dermatin b the next morning.
So what's the real reason for this?
Even if you take worst case scenario for all these reasons does it mean Ashley should have her breasts lopped off even before they begin to grow? I don't think so.
So is it if you force a body to stop growing so it looks no older than 9 than she looks pretty ridiculous with a 25 year old woman's breasts? I think that is closer to the truth.
Susan
Tuesday, January 30, 2007
I'm working feverishly trying to get more attention on the atrocity committed on a little girl named Ashley. Her parents thinking that the solution to the stress and difficulty of raising a disabled child decided that they would find doctors who would make Ashley stop growing. They believed that if Ashley was kept small she could have a better life. A small Ashley would be more comfortable in her body, and be happier because her family could more easily care for her and keep her home rather than institutionalize her. Well they also thought Ashley would be happier if she didn't have to face monthly menstrual periods. They cite a fear of blood and an inability to understand cramps. She had a hysterectomy in large part to prevent her from ever getting pregnant. She had her breast buds removed because of the discomfort they would expect she would feel with big breasts and having to lay prone or being strapped into a wheelchair. Another reason they claim for all this body reconstruction is to desexualize her appearance to prevent her from sexual abuse.
I don't buy any of it. I don't believe parents have the right to do any of these things for the reasons they are giving. You do not remove healthy organs of children because you think it MIGHT help her. I wrote the following statement with the help of others and hope you might consider going to the link and signing onto it.....
A Statement of Solidarity for the Dignity of People With Disabilities
- A Reaction to the "Ashley Treatment"
We, the undersigned individuals and organizations, are in agreement that the growth attenuation therapy administered to the little girl known as Ashley is an affront to her human dignity, and to that of all people with disabilities. Despite the good intentions of both her parents and the doctors who have treated her in accordance with their wishes, we condemn these medical procedures and declare that it is never ethically acceptable to medically alter a human being for the benefit of caregivers. Such unnecessary medical procedures without therapeutic indications demean the essential humanity of the person undergoing them and of all people with similar disabilities. Whether disabled or not, people must be given the opportunity to grow and develop according to their own capacity, whatever that may be. It is the duty of both caregivers and the hallmark of a progressive, civilized society to provide the means by which all of us can reach our full human potential.
Ashley is impaired by an unknown brain disorder. Our hearts go out to her parents, and we recognize that they love Ashley and are trying their best in very trying circumstances to care for their daughter. But these unnecessary medical procedures with no demonstrated therapeutic purpose, in which doctors have surgically and hormonally altered Ashley to remain small and childlike, are misguided. While it is true that none of us can walk in her parents' shoes, we believe that this approach to easing the hardship of caring for a child with disabilities makes the child the problem, and by doing so, makes it acceptable for well-meaning people to deny the essential humanity of people with disabilities in the course of are not the problem. The real issue is the lack of support, care, and help from our social, medical, and civil establishments for Ashley's parents and for all those who care for people with disabilities. Yes, it is expensive. But the alternative is morally and ethically unacceptable in a society that honors life and human dignity. We call on our fellow citizens, our government, and our medical establishment to treat people with disabilities as people, not as problems. We stand together and demand that doctors and social service agencies never again use medicine to strip someone of their humanity through medical procedures like the "Ashley Treatment," and call on our legislators to pass laws that codify the right of people with disabilities to their integrity as people.
To add your name to this document electronically, please go to
http://pub6.bravenet.com/guestbook/501900445 .
To read more about Ashley, go to http://www.ashleyx.info .
Tuesday, May 9, 2006
There is that factor of "making lemonade out of lemons", but you still have to have the raw materials. Lemon juice and water without sugar isn't lemonade no matter how much you try to envision otherwise. So some people add some grape juice (which is naturally sweeter) and they have what closer approximates lemonade, although now pink lemonade. Others decide to enjoy water with lemon juice. Others forego the lemon all together. And others suck the lemon and add salt and tequila. Some add a bit of spice to change the flavor from sweet and tart to tart and spicy. If the goal is to make lemonade - some miss it by a mile, but if the goal is to find value in the raw materials you have - they all but the one who refuses to even consider the possibilities has made something of their lemons.
What I get tired of is some people insist that only lemonade is good. If you don't make lemonade you are missing out. Some people want something different than lemonade. Some people just can't make lemonade.
Sometimes I am amazed at how insistent our culture is that we all make lemonade the same way. We are supposed to be a country that embraces diversity.
This is about being disabled and having to live with / accept your disability in a certain way. It is about immigrants who have to assimilate. It is about aspiring for something that isn't something traditionally a person of your sex aspires to. For most of us I think life would be good if we allow/ or were allowed it to be.
Saturday, September 3, 2005
I feel even more helpless today. I started late last night creating a webpage for a centralized location for disability information. I worked on and off for about 24 hours to get it up - took a 1 or 2 hour nap every once in awhile. But now I have to wait for it to be discovered and actually utilized. And the reality is I will have very little idea if it actually helps anyone at all. So maybe what I am experiencing now is the let-down of working on something furiously and now having "nothing " to do but wait for more info to put up.
I watched the TV and sobbed. I simply cannot imagine what I would do if I was in the same situation as so many people are. I want to reach out and help - scoop someone up in my arms and make it all ok. So many people, so few resources helping them. It is long overdo that we get out of the Middle East and take care of our own.
http://www.katrinadisability.info Check it out!
Wednesday, August 31, 2005
Such a pretty name - what a horrible circumstance.
I find myself crying today for no apparent reason. I feel helpless. I want to get in my car and go help- and yet I know I would be no help.
My son asks me questions I have no answers for. I find myself getting impatient. I want him to understand, but I don't want to talk about it.
I called my friend Nick who is near Mobile. He has posted here. He is OK, but his house has sustained damage, and his computer is toast. No electricity. I find myself thinking I have too much. I don't need so much. I really must learn to value more what I have and live with less.
Nick's family needs help, so I am organzing a fund drive to help him get the stuff his family needs now. I feel a tiny bit less helpless. But it feels like so little when there is so much need.
Tuesday, August 30, 2005
I am so excited and totally over the moon. Teddy took a phone message. Called me on my cell phone. Gave me the name of the person who called and their phone number correctly.
This may seem like such a little thing, especially for someone who is 22. But I have a lifetime of question and answer games resolving around phone messages in my past.
Did they ask for Susan or the lady of the house? Did they know your name was Teddy? Did they say they would call back? Did they tell you where they work? Did they mention where I work? What did you talk about besides the messsage? Were they nice to you? Did they understand you when you talked?
Sometimes if I was lucky I would be able to figure out who called. But sometimes it remained a mystery. Thank goodness for caller ID - atleast I know the number they called from most of the time.
So now Teddy has the beginning of an honest to goodness skill. Maybe others will call and he will take correct messages. And maybe this will actually be able to be developed into a job.
I feel as excited about this as the day he first spoke or walked or slammed the door in anger. Growth - it is a wonderful thing. I am so glad my son is still growing, maturing. Life is good.
Friday, June 24, 2005
A devotee is a person who is attracted to people with disabilities. They prefer to date have sex with, marry people who have a particular disability.
What I wonder is why there is a special term for people attracted to people who are disabled and people who are fat, but not to people who are attracted to blondes, or men with long hair, or women who are very tall. Why do we only question a person's attraction to another when they are attracted to someone who has a charactersitic many consider negative?
Susan
Thursday, June 23, 2005
I find the whole idea of this offensive. God should be healing Christians of their intolerance. I wouldn't mind this as a choice - if people truly are unhappy being gay -PERHAPS this is on thing to try. But this demonstrates a lack of ability to accept people as they are. This just justifies to me the intolerance christian churches far too often demonstrate toward people who are gay. Isn't there enough crap going on in the world to deal with - this is just a waste of time!
Susan
Healed' by God
Conservative Christians hold
conference to 'cure' gays
Dr. James Dobson is the leader of Focus on the Family, which is calling on gays and lesbians to undergo "reparative therapy."
By Alex Johnson
Reporter
MSNBC
Updated: 2:34 p.m. ET June 23, 2005NASHVILLE, Tenn. -
When activists for gay and lesbian causes gather outside a church near Seattle this weekend, they will have many critical things to say about how conservative Christian institutions have treated them.
Inside Northshore Baptist Church, where Focus on the Family will be preaching that homosexuality can be “healed” by the power of God’s love, Christian counselors will be making much the same point.
In addition to “powerful stories of ex-gay men and women,” people attending the Love Won Out conference will hear “a challenge to the church,” said Dr. Bill Maier, a child and family psychologist who is one of the event’s main speakers. Another is the Rev. Nancy Heche, the mother of Anne Heche, the actress who famously married a man after living a widely publicized lesbian life with comedian Ellen DeGeneres.
“Leaders of Love Won Out are very forthright in stating that the church has often fallen short when it comes to the homosexual community,” Maier, vice president and resident psychologist of Focus on the Family, said in an interview.
To be sure, Focus on the Family, the Colorado Springs-based ministry run by James Dobson, perhaps the most influential evangelical figure in the nation today, would agree with detractors of Love Won Out about very little else. At the one-day event, which is held a handful of times a year, ministers, psychologists and counselors who say they have left homosexuality behind them make the case for “reparative therapy” — the hypothesis that homosexuality is not innate and can be “repaired.”
The latest conference sets up shop Saturday in suburban Bothell, Wash. — amid Seattle’s annual Gay Pride Festival, which drew more than 120,000 people last year. Needless to say, gay rights activists plan protests, and they will follow up July 9 with their own Love Welcomes All event.
Participants will attend seminars about homosexuality and counseling sessions. There will also be advice for families and how they should deal with gay or lesbian relatives.
External factors said to determine sexuality
Maier cautioned that “human behavior is pretty darned complicated, so each individual is going to have a different experience.” But in general, he and others — notably psychologists Warren Throckmorton of Grove City College in Pennsylvania, Stanton Jones of Wheaton College in Illinois and Joseph J. Nicolosi of the National Association for Research and Therapy of Homosexuality — argue that homosexuality is not immutable.
It may not be a “choice,” as many conservative religious leaders maintain, but it is a response to family and other external conditions, these researchers say. Nicolosi, who will speak Saturday at the Love Won Out event, teaches, for example, that early family relationships and inappropriate sexual seduction at a young age are key determiners of sexual identity.
You are not born gay, in other words, and you can stop being gay.
“Because many of America’s gay activist organizations have promulgated this myth that homosexuals are born gay, many Americans have been misled,” Maier said. “There are many research studies that clearly show that gender orientation is changeable.”
Debating ‘ex-gays’
Activists for gay and lesbian causes unreservedly denounce Love Won Out as twisting science for a conservative religious cause. Love Won Out and other advocates of reparative therapy — what has come to be known popularly as the “ex-gay movement” — are selling “sham science,” in the view of Barbara Menard, director of the Human Rights Campaign Foundation.
Gay rights advocates point to the position of the major medical professional organizations. In recent years, the American Academy of Pediatrics, the American Counseling Association, the American Psychiatric Association, the American Psychological Association and the National Association of School Psychologists have all declared that homosexuality is not a mental disorder that can or should be cured.
Dr. Brad Bullock, a pediatrician in Nashville who is gay, said he had found the language used by Maier and others to be “astounding,” noting that the American Psychiatric Association removed homosexuality from its list of developmental disorders more than 30 years ago. Last month, the association called for recognition of same-sex marriages.
http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/8234503/
Tuesday, June 21, 2005
2005 Disability Pride Parade in Chicago, July 23
"Unity Builds Community"
Disability activists have been making headlines in recent months. It seems like everybody's talking about the Terri Schiavo case, proposed cuts in Social Security, and the protests against the movie "Million Dollar Baby." The disability community, in particular, is talking loudly about their rights, power and pride as a community.
They are driving home their point by taking it to the streets again this year with the 2005 Disability Pride Parade, "Unity Builds Community," Saturday, July 23, in Chicago's West Loop neighborhood.
Grand Marshal and Honorees
The event, led by Grand Marshal Steven Brown, Ph.D., co-founder, Institute on Disability Culture, not only will celebrate disability as a natural and beautiful part of human diversity but also will recognize Not Dead Yet for that organization's work in opposing physician-assisted suicide.
"It takes a lot for people with disabilities, particularly non-apparent disabilities, to get to a place where they openly and proudly identify themselves as disabled," says Disability Pride Parade Planning Committee Co-Chair Janice Stashwick. "Just as in other social/human rights movements, power is first cultivated through promoting internalized feelings of pride.
Parade route through West Loop
The parade steps off from Randolph and Halsted streets at noon and proceeds west on Randolph Street to Union Park (1500 west). A post-parade program, including performers with disabilities and organizational and vendor tents, will be from 1-3 p.m. in the park.
Grassroots volunteers from a variety of disability rights organizations make up the 2005 Disability Pride Parade Planning Committee. "We're building on the momentum of last year's inaugural parade and hope to make it an annual event," says Gary Arnold, planning committee co-chair. "Last year we hoped to have 500 participants and ended up with more than 1,5000." continues Arnold. "And this year we also mark the 15th anniversary of the American with Disabilities Act (ADA) legislation."
Disability Activist Brown, who also is an assistant professor and disabilities scholar at the Center on Disability Studies at the University of Hawaii, acclaimed author and poet, will speak at the post-parade program. His publications include Movie Stars and Sensuous Scars: Essays on the Journey from Disability Shame to Disability Pride.
Not Dead Yet's Founder Diane Coleman and Research Analyst Steve Drake will be honored for their visible efforts in opposing the ruling on the Terry Schiavo case and the message of Clint Eastwood's movie, "Million Dollar Baby."
Everyone who believes that Disability is a natural part of human diversity and supports Disability Pride is invited to be a part of the parade.
"I believe the barrier to be overcome is not my Disability," says 2004 Disability Pride Parade Co-Chair Sarah Triano, "it is societal oppression and discrimination based on biological differences such as disability, sex, race, age or sexuality. It's time that we reclaim the definition of Disability and name our own experience. We must go out into the world with our heads held high, with our dignity and pride intact."
Online registration new this year
New this year is online registration. Participants, co-sponsors and donors are encouraged to visit the parade web site at disabledandproud.com/parade.htm to register and/or make donations online. The planning committee continues to raise money to cover all the expenses of the parade, which include sound systems, stages, chairs and tents for the post-parade program in Union Park.
The web site also offers travel, housing and resource information as well as links to the parade's co-sponsors.
Organizations can still co-sponsor
Organizations can still co-sponsor the parade and be listed in all parade materials, if they act by Monday, July 5. Contact Laura Obara at lalaot@yahoo.com or call 711 and give the relay operator this phone number: 847-545-1807 (TTY).
Checks should be made payable to Progress Center for Independent Living. Write 'Disability Pride Parade' in the memo section and mail to Progress Center, c/o Laura Obara, 7521 Madison Street, Forest Park, IL 60130.
For more information
Check out the parade's web site for more information: disabledandproud.com/parade.htm
Stress and fear prevent women from having orgasms. 20 minutes of foreplay relieves stress, safer sex practices relieves fear of pregnancy. SO guys take your time and pull on your condoms if you really want your partner to enjoy herself.
Susan
http://www.cnn.com/2005/HEALTH/06/20/fertility.orgasm.reut/index.html
COPENHAGEN, Denmark (Reuters) -- Women may be able to fool their partners by faking an orgasm but a brain scanner will catch them every time, a conference heard on Monday.
Researchers at the University of Groningen in the Netherlands have used scans to show that different areas of the brain are stimulated during an orgasm but are not activated when a woman fakes it.
"Women can imitate orgasm quite well," Gert Holstege told a fertility meeting on Monday. "But there is nothing really happening in the brain."
He and colleagues took brain scans of 13 women and 11 men, aged 19-49 who had volunteered for the study, while they were being sexually stimulated by their partner and during an orgasm and compared them to images of their brains at rest.
"We wanted to know what the brain was doing during orgasm," Holstege said.
When women genuinely achieved an orgasm, areas of the brain involved in fear and emotion were deactivated. Those areas stayed alert however when women were faking it.
The researchers also found that the cortex, which is linked with consciousness, is active during a fake orgasm but not during the real thing.
"The deactivation of these very important parts of the brain might be the most important thing necessary to have an orgasm," said Holstege.
"It means that if you are fearful or at a very high level of anxiety, then it is very difficult to have sex because you really have to let yourself go," he added.
The brain scans for men during orgasm were less conclusive, according to Holstege.
But they did show that different parts of the male and female brain are activated and deactivated during sexual stimulation.
The researchers found less deactivation in the males in the areas of the brain linked to emotion and fear when they were sexually stimulated.
They are now planning further studies to compared the male and female brains during orgasm.
About 5,300 delegates are attending the four-day meeting of the European Society of Human Reproduction and Embryology.
Copyright 2005 Reuters. All rights reserved.This material may not be published, broadcast, rewritten, or redistributed.
Monday, June 20, 2005
I wonder about this issue a lot.I wonder what the quality of my son's life will be like after I am gone. Can I really put into place everything he needs to have the life he wants and deserves? If I am near death would it be better to do something to end both of our lives quickly and humanely?
In the end I always decide against this idea - but it comes back to me when I see the inhumanity in this world exhibited against people with disabilities. I dearly hope a day will come when I feel confident that my son's future - with or without me - is bright!
Susan
http://www.thnt.com/apps/pbcs.dll/article?AID=/20050620/NEWS/506200387/1001
Unraveling the myths of suicide pact cases
Husband-wife deaths climbing
Published in the Home News Tribune 06/20/05
By STEFANIE MATTESON
GANNETT NEW JERSEY
When an elderly spouse — usually the husband — kills his ailing mate
and then himself, the public perception is often that the homicide-suicide
was committed out of love, with mutual knowledge and consent.
In fact, this "mercy-killing" perception is a myth, say scientists who
have studied homicide-suicides among the elderly. The husbands in
such cases are often abusers, and the wives are rarely complicit.
In many such cases, defense wounds indicate that the wife fought
for her life.
The issue of homicide-suicides among the elderly has recently been
thrust into the public consciousness by two cases that occurred in
Union County in the last three weeks — the first such cases in recent
memory, according to Bob O'Leary, spokesman for the Union County
Prosecutor's Office.
On June 13, an 81-year-old Fanwood man shot his wife of over 50 years
with a .38-caliber handgun in the couple's living room and then fatally
shot himself. The wife had been in ailing health for many years and her
husband was overwhelmed by his concern for her, his daughter said.
On June 7, a 68-year-old New Providence woman smothered her
74-year-old husband of 46 years with a pillow and then took an
overdose of sleeping pills and collapsed next to him in a hospital
bed in their bedroom. The husband became a quadriplegic in February
after he fell off a set of bleachers while watching his grandson play
hockey.
Of the Fanwood case, Union County Prosecutor Theodore J. Romankow
said: "It is beyond my comprehension to understand how anyone under
these circumstances could take the life of anyone he purports to love."
No evidence of a suicide pact was found in either case, O'Leary said.
Whether merciful intentions or mutual consent played any part in these
deaths may never be known. But such circumstances are the exception
rather than the rule, according to research studies.
Murder-suicides involving elderly couples have been relatively uncommon,
but may be on the rise due to the aging of the population and the fact
that more older people are living with serious disabilities, driving
caregivers to despair and desperation, said Donna Cohen, a University
of South Florida professor who heads a violence-prevention program there.
Cohen said there are between 500 and 750 homicide-suicides nationwide
every year in the over-55 age group, or 1,000 to 1,500 deaths, which
translates to about 20 deaths per week. The incidence of homicide-suicide
among the elderly is twice as high as among younger people, she said.
In considering the public-health risk of homicide-suicide among the
elderly, she noted that the death rate is similar to that of diseases
such as meningitis and viral hepatitis.
And for every five cases of homicide-suicide, there is one that is not
completed, Cohen said. Either the intended homicide victim does not
die, or the perpetrator kills the spouse and then fails to carry through
with the plan to take his or her own life.
Cohen, who has been studying homicide-suicide among the elderly
since 1993, said that in the majority of cases, the homicide-suicide
is committed without the wife's consent or knowledge by a husband
who has a need to control and who is depressed and feeling overwhelmed
by his care-taking responsibilities.
The perpetrators are often caring for their spouses in the most intimate
ways: cleaning wounds and inserting catheters or suppositories, Cohen said.
"They have this sense, "Nobody cares about me or my wife.' " Cohen
said. "They're running into brick walls."
Only in a very small number of cases — less than a half a percent — is
there a suicide pact, Cohen said.
And, in 30 percent of homicide-suicides among older people, there is
a history of marital problems or domestic violence, usually among
couples in their 60s, Cohen said. The domestic violence has usually
been going on for many years. Also, the homicide-suicide has usually
been planned for a long time, she said.
"These are not impulsive acts," she said.
Even in cases where there is no history of domestic violence, 75 percent
of the time it is the man who makes the decision to end his spouse's
life — a pattern that is also typical of homicide-suicide in younger
people, though for different reasons, Sandy Clark, associate director
of the New Jersey Coalition for Battered Women, said.
"It's a control issue," Clark said. "One individual is making the decision."
Cohen said the husbands in such cases are usually domineering and
controlling. Often they are or were employed in professions in which
control or structure is important, such as law enforcement, the military
and engineering, she said. Also, the greater the age difference between
perpetrator and spouse, the greater the risk. Usually the need to control
is not apparent to outsiders, who tend to take a relatively benign view
of such cases.
"The neighbors say, "They loved each other, they were sick, they're
better off,' " Cohen said. "It makes my blood boil."
Indeed, Cohen said that the victims of such "mercy killings" often
have defense wounds showing that they have tried to fight back. And
the reason for the mercy killing may be trumped up, she said, citing
the case of a man who killed his wife because he predicted that she
would some day get emphysema and he wouldn't be able to care for her.
"In talking about a mercy killing, people make it sound less horrible
than it really is," agreed Susan Rovi, an assistant professor of family
medicine at the University of Medicine and Dentistry of New Jersey in
Newark, who has also studied the issue.
In only 20 percent of cases has one or both members of the couple
brought up the subject of wanting to be dead, Cohen said. But in these
cases, there is no clear evidence of a pact, she said.
According to Cohen's research in Florida, the state with the highest
rate of homicide-suicide among the elderly, the major risk factors are:
*Untreated or unrecognized depression, other psychopathology, or
substance abuse.
*A long, close marriage — 40 or more years for a first marriage or 25
or more for a second marriage.
*A high socioeconomic level, indicating a lifestyle marked by a high
degree of control. "Impoverished people are not used to having
everything they want," Cohen said.
*A precipitating incident, which may be a change in health status
or a real or perceived separation, such as a move of one spouse
to a nursing home.
Cohen's research is based on information from the case files of the
Florida medical examiner, autopsy reports, police reports, forensic
investigations and newspaper accounts, she said.
Because of New Jersey's affluence and the fact that its population is
older than the national average, its residents would seem to be at
higher risk of homicide-suicide. But these risk factors are offset by
a lower rate of gun ownership, Cohen said. Firearms are the weapon
of choice for homicide-suicides, used in 85 percent of the cases
Cohen studied.
In New Jersey, homicide-suicide in all age groups has been the subject
of an ongoing study by the state's Domestic Violence Fatality Review
Board, which issued reports in 2001 and 2003. The review board expects
to release the preliminary findings of a more extensive study of
homicide-suicide among the elderly soon, Rovi said.
In keeping with its new mission, the newly reconstituted board will
soon change its name to the Domestic Violence Fatality and Near
Fatality Review Board, she said.
The aim of such studies is to gain the knowledge to help public health
officials find ways to better address the issues and to find avenues for
intervention, Rovi said. And, with the massive baby-boomer generation
on the threshold of their elder years, the need for action is becoming
more acute.
While the incidence of depression is higher among women, men —
who commit most of the homicides-suicides among the elderly — are
less likely to seek help, she said. Men are also more likely than
women to feel socially isolated or disconnected and to feel overwhelmed
by their care-taking responsibilities.
"Women are more accustomed to taking care of other people," Clark
agreed. "When a man is in a position of having to do care-taking, it's
much more of a burden. For a woman, it's not as onerous, pointless
or difficult."
The good news in this grim picture is that most perpetrators of
homicide-suicide see doctors regularly, which means that avenues
exist for intervention. Cohen found that most perpetrators had
visited a physician within the month preceding the incident and half
had been to the doctor within the preceding week.
The trouble is that physicians aren't doing a good job at recognizing
and treating depression in the elderly, Cohen said. A shortage of
physicians and other clinicians trained in geriatric care has contributed
to the problem, as has a lack of community resources for home care
for elderly patients, she said.
"Public awareness is our number-one concern," Union County
Assistant Prosecutor Laura Hook, who supervises the county's
domestic-violence unit, agreed. "The more public awareness people
have, the better off they are."
Cohen adds: "The red flags are flying, but people aren't seeing them."
--END ARTICLE--
ADDITIONAL RESOURCES:
Malphurs & Cohen (2005) "A statewide case-control study of spousal
homicide-suicide in older person." Am J Geriatr Psychiatry 13:211-217,
March 2005:
http://ajgp.psychiatryonline.org/cgi/content/abstract/13/3/211
From "mercy killing" to "domestic violence": Shirley Harrison, the Chicago
Media and Not Dead Yet:
http://www.raggededgemagazine.com/0302/0302ft7.html
Sunday, June 19, 2005
I just banned the first person from my website forum. Clay has been posting on my site for more than 2 years. I though he was a lost soul and if I stood by him long enough he'd get his act together. I tried to get him to understand that being gay was ok when he described people who were gay as faggots and queers (and refused to accept himself as the bisexual he seemed to be). I tried to get him to stop being so racist - stop believing that only Indian Hindi like him would make a proper soul mate.
Well I let him play me for a fool. Others told me to ban him, but I thought he would eventually come around. Well he did - he said it was all a joke. A two year long joke on me.
I guess I am getting a backbone. Two days ago I leave a message board I was being kicked around on and today I ban a jerk from my forum.
Wednesday, June 15, 2005
I've left an online message board today I've been posting on since February. From the beginning I should have seen the writing on the wall. The place is toxic. Nearly every thread becomes a flame war. The behavior of people was unlike anything I encounter in real life or want to encounter online. I put up with it for far too long. I kept thinking that there was more value than upset in posting there. Yesterday I decided it was time to go. The energy I put there I am going to put here. So I deleted every post I every posted - almost 1500 of them - I want all evidence of my mistake of becoming involved there gone. I feel a bit of regret, but not much. Life goes on and so do I.
Watch for any more posts in the coming days, weeks, months.....
Susan
Current mood:  stressed
Saturday, January 31, 2004
Ok, I was trying to think about what I do laugh at, since the current state of humor on TV I find so upsetting.
Two shows come to mind.
Tool-time is male bashing at its best. But the difference is that the male-bashing is done directly. Jill is upset at Tim for any of the million thoughtless things he does. She bashes. He recoils, then considers. His behavior improves - maybe just for five minutes - but the realization that he is acting badly is recognized and he tries to improve. Tim is a sweet man - a thoughtless sweet man - who evidences throughout that he does love his wife and children above all. This is a show I find myself laughing out loud to.
Mr. Bean is a British sitcom so may not be as widely seen -but it is the hilarity of the absurd. Mr. Bean may do things we abhor- but he does so in such an outlandish manner that is impossible to view as reality TV How the gags in this show are even conceived is beyond me. Atkinson (Mr. Bean) take a kernel of daily life and explodes it into humor of mythic proportions. How many times have we wanted to skirt paying the fee as we exit the parking ramp? We may consider trying to plow through the gates, or tricking the gates, or any number of outlandish acts---but never actually try them. Mr. Bean acts out the fantasies we carry in our head.
Laugh on!
Susan
OK you might think these movies have no relevance to each other, but read on.......
Cheaper by the Dozen is about a family with 12 kids and two parents who have skewed priorities. Dad consistently forgets one kids name, and Mom ignores this same kids pleas for attention. This might be OK if we saw this as the tragedy it is - but instead it is the butt of too many laugh lines.The kids beloved frog gets ill and everyone is to busy to notice or help --the frog then dies and the chaos of the movement prevents anyone from caring ---only with this kids runs away does this family get a wake-up call to pay attention. Now if this all happened in the first 10 minutes OK - but this is the end of the movie. The laughs are all about piss-poor parenting, sibling rivalry taken to extremes, and kids with not a clue to appropriate behavior. I don't know why we think bad behavior is funny. My lover says I have no sense of humor.
Monster is about a woman who lives a life no one would want. Her childhood is marked by horrid parenting. Her adulthood is full of bad and worse choices. As the movie progresses she goes from bad to worse. And yet somehow as appalled as you are by her behavior there is something likeable and humane underneath. You never feel sympathy for her when she murders her victims- you are shocked and desperately want her to find just one ounce of a conscience - but sadly she doesn't. The inevitable happens -she is caught - she is convicted. No shock here- expect for the tears I found myself having. This is a woman the system failed - when she is condemned we are all condemned. ( And is case you are wondering and don't know - the story is a true one.)
If it hadn't been for the wake-up call the kid with the frog's family got - he could have grown up to be the monster in the second film. Ok, my lover says I have no sense of humor - I think I do- when things are funny - and I don't think abuse is funny.
Susan
Saturday, December 6, 2003
OK, count me as a Scrooge but I wasn't all that crazy about this movie. It's an OK movie. But the "innocent elf in the big city" didn't seem as much like innocent as a sort of perception how adults with mental retardation are more like children than adults.
ELF is Buddy who is raised at the North Pole after mistakingly crawling into Santa's toy bag. Although all the other elfs seem to get how to be elves, Buddy never quite finds his place. And although he is the only non-little person at the North Pole besides Santa - he also seems to be far less mature than the other elves.
Buddy goes to NYC to find his father. His father treats him with disdain - as he thinks he is mentally ill or mentally retarded (to some degree he is right - he does act that way - a sorta of dual diagnosed fantasy figure) Only when he accepts Buddy as an Elf does he accept Buddy as a person worthy of respect.
And as an Elf the unacceptable things Buddy does when he is thought to be mentally ill are suddenly cute. Even at the end when Buddy has become a husband and father he seems to have been unable to grow up and be mature.
If Buddy didn't have an elf costume on I bet there would be an uproar about this movie, but somehow this movie passes muster as a cute, innocent comedy.
Friday, December 5, 2003
So far most of these make-over shows have had people who had some cosmetic imperfections and not disabilities. The one exception to this has been a woman with a partially corrected cleft palate. I have no objections to plastic surgery to correct physical anomolies. My own son had cosmetic surgery on his tongue because it was to big for his mouth. But after tonight's show I fear for the worst to come.
What happened on tonight's make-over? We had the ugly twin and the pretty twin - but now they are both pretty twins. Over and over they were referred to as the pretty and ugly twin. No wonder she wanted (and perhaps even psychologically benefited) from plastic surgery.
So what do I fear? How about the pretty twin without a disability - and the ugly twin with a disability? How about eliminating all outward physical characteristics of Down syndrome?
My son has cried because he doesn't want his "crooked face". A part of him believes that he will be treated better if he looks the same as everybody else - and perhaps he is right - for about 5 minutes. Will people give him a chance because he doesn't look different - maybe - but if they are prejudiced against people with disabilities it will only be a few minutes before they realize that something about him is different.
So in the end maybe my son's "crooked face" protects him. During his life teasing has been very very rare. Maybe his face warns people - I am a person with a disability - treat me with respect or just leave me alone.
Friday, November 21, 2003
Well I have had an interesting two events happen this week. I went to a focus group on discrimination against gays and lesbians in employment. And I also was asked to resign from being a member of a board I was recently elected to because of my web page.
First the focus group. Three of us watched a series of ads for TV that told the stories of people who had or were considering coming out at work. One of the other people considered themself to be an activist - but an activist regarding what cause she did not say. But she did say that discrimination in employment was not nothing she had ever thought about. I was a bit surprised to hear that - but not too surprised.
The other person who was a young guy who did surprise me. He said he thought he probably had gay friends, but wasn't sure. Nor thought about discrimination in employment and watching these ads only made him think about it a little.
I made a comment and the facilitator's reply was the biggest surprise of the evening. I considered the women in the ads to tell more compelling stories and I preferred them over the men's. The response of the male facilitator - was of course- obviously. But I truly believe the quality of the ads with the women in them were substantially better. But my guess is that my comments for preferring the women's ads will be somewhat discounted. Oh well.
The other event of the week really blindsided me. I was clueless it was coming. At first I was really upset -now I guess it is another - Oh well.
I was elected to a board that will remain nameless - but suffice to say it is a group of people that work together to help people and they have no religious context. I was asked to come to discuss an area I am expert in - but instead it was a meeting to discuss my webpage. I was told that other members of the board refused to be board members if I continued to be one. So I was asked to take my site down or resign. No brainer - I resigned
Now I have no plans to do anything to hurt this organization, but I have to say that i am very disappointed. I know I would have been a tremendous asset to this organization and right now I feel like doing nothing now or ever to support their work. But I have to question who I hurt if I do this? They in theory exist in part to support me, and so by my not giving them my support do I not support myself?
To me this begs the question about discrimination in general. If we avoid who discriminates against us (as we have every right to do) or make things easy for them (by not making waves) - are we in fact supporting their right to discriminate against us? Do we in fact support acts of discrimination against us?
I haven't figured out exactly how to process all this yet. But for the moment I'll just reflect.
Susan
Sunday, November 16, 2003
There's an article in today's Sunday paper that discusses why teenagers are having sex. They ask teenagers of all ages from the Detroit Metro area. They found out a lot of good info, but from what I've read so far they missed some important things.
When I was a teenager I too wanted to have sex when I was 13 , 15, 17, but I didn't - or atleast not on the semi-regular or regular basis so many teens do today. Did my hormones rage as much as theirs? I am sure they did.
The difference was when I was a teenager I was still a teenager- caught between the world of childhood and adulthood, confused and conflicted - and I was allowed to be a teenager.
Today's teenager instead comes home to am empty house with little supervision. Is expected to take on adult responsibilities of preparing meals, supervising siblings, keeping up with academic school work, and be more adult than child.
They watch TV, listen to music, read books, that not only has material in it that teenagers didn't have access to - but most people didn't have access to when I was a teenager. Teenagers ask me questions about things I had absolutely no idea about when I was their age. I want to say go ask your mother or father--but I am sure their parents would be apalled if they knew what their children were thinking about. The kids know better than to ask.
But the real crux of the problem to me is that we are not preparing our kids to be sexually responsible teenagers. As parents most of us have our heads in the sand as to what are kids are thinking about and doing when it comes to sex. We want to believe they are the innocents we were. And since they don't appear to be as innocent - we teach abstinence.
It would make sense to teach abstinence if we began to teach abstinence when kids were 8 years old, but we start when they are 12-14- 16 - when abstinence is no longer a choice. If you aren't abstinent what do you learn? Nothing. Its's too late! Do kids learn about masturbation? Do they learn about the efficacy of birth control for teenagers? Do they learn that teenage bodies might not be ready for sex and for that reason sex might hurt or just not be that great?
So many girls write to me and tell me that sex hurts - or it didn't feel like anything, and the boys write to say they are too small and can't satisfy the girl. So many write with pregnancy scares - we thought we'd try it once without a condom, he pulled out, the condom fell off, ---and now they are late. Thankfully, usually, they are not pregnant - but they take such STUPID risks.
If we want our teenagers to be little adults- they are going to have sex. We need to give the information and the tools to have sex as safely as possible. Ok, that's my rant for the evening!
Susan
Current mood: aggravated
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